| Wednesday, September 15th, 2004 |
| 10:55 am |
wow
i have written really ridiculous things in this thing. if i didnt know me and i read them, i would hate me. |
| Thursday, July 24th, 2003 |
| 8:15 pm |
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| Saturday, June 21st, 2003 |
| 7:19 pm |
our lives are full of change
Change is never easy. You fight to hold on. You fight to let go. ~The Wonder Years Current Mood:  distressedCurrent Music: jack johnson |
| Friday, May 2nd, 2003 |
| 1:49 pm |
<3
In a few weeks... A year has past and now we stand on the brink of returning to a world where we are surrounded by the paradox of everything yet nothing being the same. In a few weeks we will reluctantly give our hugs and, fighting the tears, say goodbye to the people who were once just names on a sheet of paper to return to people that we hugged and fought tears to say goodbye to before we ever left. We will leave our best friends to return to our best friends. We will go back to places we came from and go back to the same things we did last summer and every summer before. We will come into town on that same familiar road, and even thought it has been months, it will seem like only yesterday. As you walk into your old bedroom, every emotion will pass through you as you reflect on the way your life has changed and the person you have become. You suddenly realize that the things that were most important to you a year ago don't seem to matter so much anymore, and the things you hold highest now, no one at home will completely understand. Who will you call first? Where are you going to work? Who will be at the party Saturday night? What has everyone been up to? Who from school will you keep in touch with? How long before you actually start missing people bargaining in without calling or knocking? Who will get breadsticks with you at three in the morning? How long until you adjust to sleeping in a room by yourself, or how long before you realize your three best friends aren't in the bed next to your room? Then you realize how much things have changed, you realize the hardest part of college is balancing the two completely different worlds you now live in, trying desperately to hold on to everything all the while trying to figure out what you have to leave behind. In the matter of one day's traveling time, we will leave our world of living next door to our best friends, walking across campus to eat, instant messenger, 8:00 classes, and perpetual procrastination to a world that will seem foreign to us despite the fact that we have lived in it for nineteen years. But it is different now... We now know the meaning of true friendship. We know whom we have kept in touch with over the past year and whom we hold dearest to our hearts. We've left our high school worlds to deal with the real world. We have had our hearts broken, we've fell in love, we've helped our best friends through the toughest times of their lives, something their even best friends at home couldn't be there for. We've stayed up all night just to be there for a friend. We've partied the night away, doing stupid stuff, but we were always there for each other afterwards. There have been times when we've felt so helpless being hours away from home when we know our families or friends needed us most, and there are times when we know we have made a difference. A few weeks from now we will leave. A few weeks from now we take down our pictures, and pack up our clothes. No more going next door to do nothing for hours on end. We will leave our friends whose random emails and phone calls will bring us to laughter and tears this summer. We will take our memories and dreams and put them away for now, saving them for our return to this world. A few weeks from now from now we will arrive. A few weeks from now from now we will unpack our bags and have dinner with our families. We will drive over to our best friend's house and do nothing for hours on end. We will return to the same friends whose random emails and phone calls have brought us laughter and tears over the past year. We will unpack old memories and dreams that have been put away for the past year. A few weeks from now we will dig deep inside to find the strength and conviction to adjust to change and still keep each other close. And somehow, in someway, we will find our place between these two worlds. In a few weeks.... are you ready? Current Mood:  content |
| Tuesday, April 8th, 2003 |
| 9:55 am |
I hate school work I love my friends <3 yay summer Current Mood: stressedCurrent Music: stupid fucking teacher ramble on |
| Thursday, December 5th, 2002 |
| 9:41 am |
ps...my mood in my last entry was supposed to be HAPPY!!!!! |
| 9:25 am |
heeeey
heeeey im sitting in english class right now...its my last day of this hell ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! me and my group finished with our part of this class newspaper were putting together so i decided to update..even though i dont know what to write. i cant believe that it is my last day of a class...we are half way done with college!!!!!!! that is insane! ahh i cant comprehend it...i cant comprehend many things in my life. Everything is just going on and im just like mreh...one day im here with cool friends ive met and one day im home with the best people ever. when im here it feels like i belong here but when im home it feels like i never left and im as happy as i could be seeing the people that i love. theres also other things too that just dont like register in my brain or something...i just dont get it. whatever...so yea school is almost over...3 more days of classes and then finals...i need to study my ass off for them...but i havent studied since ive been here...im getting ok grades when i should be getting A's cause my classes are easy...i dont know whats wrong with me..im an ass. This weekend i need to do alot of work but that cant be done becuase i have 44444 games to go too!!!!! 4 games that insane...mreh... whatever. guess what!!!!! it is snowing here is im writing this!!! im so excited...i dont mind the cold when it is snowing!!!! i cant wait to go home to see my family and my friends. im looking forward to the break a lot!! i love my girls and my boy and cant wait to see them. Theresa was so right in her post about how we feel when we hang out. it is just so natural and fun and special!!!! adios amigos ~up Fab4ev Current Mood:  guiltyCurrent Music: my stupid english teacher talking |
| Saturday, October 19th, 2002 |
| 9:36 pm |
worst night of my life
i hate u for leaving me like u did...u broke a promise that u got mad at me for doubting. no u know why i did. im sorry for hurting u but u hurt me too. i cant be without u. ill be waiting...in anger for what u did, sadness for being without u, nervousness of what will come. Current Mood:  crushed |
| Wednesday, October 16th, 2002 |
| 4:05 pm |
Kill Me!!!!
Im on lj again cause im procrastinating an essay and It was just confirmed by joannas reply...WE LEFT DOUCHE IN MY CAR AND MY DAD FOUND IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am going to kill myself. does anyone realize that Wade found fucking DUCHE IN MY CAR!!! omg im having a heart attack right now. holy shit im gonna die. i think douche is like the worst thing he could ever find. as if what happened in my pool over the summer wasnt enough my dad has to find DOUCHE in my car!!! omg and he said something to me about it too. he was like dont leave merchendise in your car. when he said "Merchindice" i knew that he was probably talking about that but i was just hoping that he wasnt!!!AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHH goodbye fellow douchers...i blame this on you..jk i guess it was worth it...maybe...is anything worth my dad finding douche in my car!!!!!!!!! ~up Current Mood:  embarrassed |
| 1:09 pm |
rain rain go away
im back at new paltz paltz from a great weekend in the square. Its pouring here and i forgot my unbrella at home!! really not cool. This weekend was so fun. I felt differnt then everyone else...when i was home i felt like i never left and that i belonged there but when i got back here i felt like i never left and belonged here. i love it. I feel so lucky to have something so special to go back to, 3 best friends and my boy. Seeing my fab this weekend was so what i needed and what i will always need. I really think we are going to make it through college. Yes some things will change but i think the fab will always have something special goin on. im here for you girls when u need me...dont stress!!!! Hanging out with my boy this weekend was so amazing. I guess some things are going to take a while to change but thats fine with me. Its def a weird situation but i had fun...im comfortabe, i feel loved and i love back. It was great hanging out with everyone agian and seeing people i havent seen since senoir year! Joanna..what happened to the douche??? i hope my dad didnt find it...u have to remember what we did with it!! And i asked my friend about that coffee house i wanted to bring u guys to. She told me the name agian but i forget agian. oops...ill get it before i come home again. At this place u can make your own smoors...how cool is that! Hopefully they are with regular marshmellows instead of flavored ones...Theresa!! i should go write my paper now and stop procrastinating. ~up |
| Tuesday, October 1st, 2002 |
| 9:41 pm |
sorry
to the Fab4 and my first love im sorry to all of those who i have hurt. Im sorry for letting anyone down. It hurts to see my friends hurt...ill try to help in anyway, just let me know what i can do. even though we are all apart i am still here for ALL of you. If i caused this, if this is what i "wanted" then why does it hurt so much? i love u all love up Current Mood: sadCurrent Music: OLP-4am |
| Tuesday, September 17th, 2002 |
| 5:18 pm |
awsome times
i would like to comment on this weekend. it was amazing. everything went back to normal and i know that whoever wants to stay friends through college will stay friends. i am not worried about losing the best friends in the world. Im upset to not be with them everyday but it makes me feel so much better to know that they will be there when i get back. This weekend was just like old times...even better. Friday night was just hanging out doin nothing which was totally cool. Saturday was out of control. there was alot of the normal craziness and peeing my pants from laughter but there are no words to describe some of the happenings u just had to be there. Conversations and spending time on sunday night made me feel so lucky. Monday morning was a very sucessful trip to the mall with T(i cant wait to get your pics girl)and then it was back to new paltz paltz. Alot of the weekend was also spent with my whole family. It felt so good to see them that it almost brought me to tears. Normaly i wouldnt see them that often anyway and it wouldnt have even felt like i went away but under the circumstances everyone has been together ALOT in the past month and ive been missing it. Helping out this weekend to make up for not helping while i was gone made be feel alittle better. One worry i had was that the family would fall apart but its acutally coming closer together...but how long is that going to last???? i am very worried about that. whatever, hopefully it will work out. well enough venting for me i gg do some work...the new thing seems to be big time proctastinating and finishing work at 1 am....NOT GOOOD. hope everyones haveing a great time!!!! love u all love up Current Mood:  cheerfulCurrent Music: weezer- keep fishin |
| Monday, September 9th, 2002 |
| 11:05 am |
good job
so i woke up at 10 today....guess what time my class started....10!!!!!!!!! i slept right through my trusty alarm and only woke up to the sound of maggie opening the door. good thing she came back when she did becuase i would have slept right through the class. Maggie saved me big time bc she drove me to my class which cut of like 10 min because i live in bumblefuck. i greatly enjoyed the look of no makeup like non at all like my friends havent even really seen that. of course i decided to save time i would do my hair in maggies car but as walking out of the building we passed a million poeple and my hair was down in a fro and o yes the bangs in the morning are reallly hot...flipped up like an elvis du or something. whatever i am just really stressed about this becuase WTF i went to sleep at a decent hour and i still didnt wake up for class. this is so going to happen again and its not going to be good. the class i was late for is also a very small personal class and she takes attendence before she starts...i missed taht and didnt even go up to her after class...she hates me the end im fucked for college. ~up Current Mood: stressed |
| Friday, August 30th, 2002 |
| 2:16 pm |
Hey!!!
I just wanted to say hi to everyone and see how college is goin. its goin pretty good here, only 2 classes seem like they're going to be hard and the people are really nice that ive met.i miss everyone from home...im getting a visitor today...im excited! everyone has to come visit eventually. well i gg get some lunch in town!...no foodcourt food yea! love kristin Current Mood:  happyCurrent Music: goodbye to u...Michelle Branch(an awsome non radion version) |
| Tuesday, August 27th, 2002 |
| 6:58 pm |
mreh
mreh...is the only word that can describe college because it just cant be described. everythin is so overwhelming. there is so much going on at once and there are so many emotions. the people ive met are nice but i knew it....i will never find friends like the ones i had at home. There will never be antoher Alb, maris, t, joanna, nicole, nike, angie, stacie, maria,boy or anyone else that i had a blast with. i miss everyone so much and all i think about is how much more fun i had at home with everyone. its not that i didnt meet people b/c i did and they really are very nice people but i know i will never have the same fun with them...they are a different type of people. no more rabbit, spit, crust roads and jsut being crazy. and no more cudling, kissing, hugging, teasing, talking and just lying :(. and the work o bob...all i have to say is that in one night i have to read 40 pages when i havent read 40 pages combined in my whole entire high school career. well i hope everyones having a great time at college and back at home...i miss u all(even if i didnt mention your name) gg do some reading now..kill me love up Current Mood:  drainedCurrent Music: OLP-Are U Sad |
| Friday, August 16th, 2002 |
| 12:49 pm |
Why??
Why are things happening that i really dont want to? Why is the best summer of my life ending? Why do i have to leave relationships that i love being in? Why do people have to get sick and maybe die just at a time that im not going to be here to visit and comfort them and the rest of my family? WHY DID LAST NIGHT HAVE TO BE THE LAST FAB4 NIGHT? everything is changing and i really dont want it to. i was totally happy...overjoyed with the way things were. everyone healthy and all of my friends with me. now i have to say goodybe to all my friends, family and maybe a gradma forever. i dont know how do deal with that. i cant say goodbyes. last nihgt was supposed to be goodbye to the fab4 but it didnt feel like they were leaving. being there with them laughing my ass off all night made me think that those amazing times would never end. Then of course i had to write the shittiest yearbook things to everyone. when they look back at them they will never realize what an impact they had on my life and how i could not have made it through HS without them. i love them and thank them for being the wonderful people that they are and the friendship that they gave me. i realized lately how much i have grown throught the past 5 years and even more this past year becuase of the relationships i have experienced. i have no desire to make new friends at college...why would i want to develope something all over agian when i am TOTALLY happy..more then happy with what i have now? i have found my 3 best friends, other AMAZING friends to hang out with. And i was lucky enough to fall in love and have a relaionship with a wonderful person that i now and will continue to have an amazing friendship with. Although i know that im going to try my hardest to be best of friends with everyone from the square things are still going to be different becuase we wont see eachother as often. ugg i cant write anymore...my mind is in such a fog. thank you for everything everyone. i truely love you. ~kristin Current Mood:  worried |
| Saturday, March 16th, 2002 |
| 12:48 am |
College Accounting Death
i have not written in this thing in so long. Havent really had anything to write. I dont really have anything to write now besides how im sitting in college accounting and i want to kill myself. I got the idea of updating in class by theresa. She's Docs favorite, #1 EIP student.(i hope you feel better) Anyway...Joannas not here so the class is even worse today. Atleast were just kinda sitting her doin nothing instead of the usual period 7 of sitting in a class and not listening to the teacher ramble on about some tax shit(an explination for my current average of a 50 in the class that will probably get me rejected from college when they see my end of the year grades). whatever ~up Current Mood: anxious |
| Thursday, February 21st, 2002 |
| 12:49 am |
great night
tonight was something that has been missing for a while. it was such a great night of fab4fun and it def has to happen more often. i havent had so much fun and been so happy in a long time! good luck to maris in her surgary tomorow! your be fine girl..well come take care of u although your a horrible patient. jk ~up Current Mood: thankful |
| Wednesday, February 20th, 2002 |
| 8:23 pm |
i just wanted to try out a face thingy Current Mood: cheerful |
| 6:44 pm |
lets try it again
the fab4 always writes in this thing and they created an account for me over the summer. My first entry and bio is very strange...thanks maris! i dont really know what to write but i think im gonna do what the Posts have previosly done that i always wanted to do. Tell everyone how awsome they are. i dont know what i would do and where i would be with out the fab4. seriuosly...um i think my only friend would be christie crumbers in virginia. You girls have helped me through so many differnt experiences and have given me a trillion amazing memories. I know that we have been through some bumpy times and im sorry for those bumps that were my fault. I know we can get through it....we never even fought in our first 2 years of being best friends...now thats at strong friendship. You are such great friends and so much fun to be with. Without maris's, alb's and t's hysterical but sometimes deranged senses of humor i dont think i would ever laugh. Im gonna miss u girls so much when we all go to college...oh thats another thing...i dont think i would have survived high school academicaly or socialy if it wasnt for u smarties. i just want to let u know i luv u down, left and right and thank you for everything. i also want to tell steve and joanna that im happy we got closer this year. Steve...your the funniest black boy ever and joanna...your just out of control and i love it. well thanks everyone ~Kristin ~fab4eva~ |
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